'Twas the Night Before Christmas...

... and all through the night not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse... I've loved Tom'n'Jerry since I was a very small boy and have wonderfully warm memories of sitting there watching them with my dad. Truth be told even as an adult if a T&J came on when I was home dad and I would sit down to watch it, hee-hawing with laughter as we did so, my mum shaking her head and wondering when either of us would grow up. With crisp snow lying all around us this Christmas Eve it seems like a perfect evening to sit by a roaring fire and watch the classic Night Before Christmas film from the Oscar winning T&J:







Oh to be five years old again and watching this on Christmas Eve at home with dad while mum was making baking and cooking magic in the kitchen and all seemed right with the world and there was no problem in the world so big that your mum and dad couldn't sort it out and you felt wrapped up in that warmth and love. Looking back now I think that childhood was the most wonderful present I've ever received and at the time, of course, I didn't even know it. Little wonder as the world seems darker and colder that I warm myself by those memories of times that never come again.

Snowy Edinburgh

On the way home this evening after the last book group of the year and a nice drink, passing Princes Street Gardens, the Christmas lights, snow, Edinburgh Castle... This is my view on the way home and one of the reasons I love living here in one of the most beautiful cities on the planet.

Gift ideas

'Tis the season when every second bloody advert is from celebs from A to Z list hawking their wares: perfumes, endless comedy DVDs and books which are instantly sold at half price in the chain bookstores and supermarkets. I'm so utterly disgusted by the crass, obvious commercialism of all of this that I've decided to jump on the bandwagon and endorse my own scent, Eau de Joe. Why buy a perfume that allegedly makes you smell like some Hollywood slapper when you could have Eau de Joe, with its peaty, single malt mixed with hints of 80% coco chocolate, must books and cat fur aroma.

And for that other perfect gift for Christmas why not select my new special Joe Stands Up comedy DVD. Its an hour long of me standing up in different poses, from bolt upright to nonchalantly leaning against the fireplace in my smoking jacket as I tap out my pipe. Order now and get the bonus extra disc Joe Also Sits Down. Truly something for everyone.

Okay, I'll admit, these are shoddy, inferior goods designed simply to be bought by folks desperate for gift ideas for relatives whose tastes they don't really know that well, just like every other shameless celebrity endorsed bag of crap, but at least I'm honest about it. And my comedy DVD would still be funnier than bloody Peter Kaye or Gavin and bloody Stacey. Hmm, maybe I should think on a range of action figures for next year...

Pictures on the Beeb

Rather than end my last post of 2008 before I go out with such a downer as the previous one (I wanted to write something more positive but it just ain't there inside me right now), here's one very little piece of nicer news - the BBC News site has used another of my photographs (that's three now, I think) in their weekly In Pictures feature in the Scottish section, it's the eighth one in on the slideshow, taken during the German market just before Christmas on the Mound. In fact its the very one I posted on here just a few days ago (I'd repost it here but Blogger, as is often the case, is refusing to upload images again like it does several times a week, grrr, but you can see it full size on my Flickr).

Christmas

Its been a pretty mixed Christmas for me and dad this year, as you can imagine. The normal opening of the presents on Christmas morning was pretty subdued without mum being there. Even little things like signing Christmas cards had been especially hard for my dad; I knew that before he said, as soon as I opened my card from him the other week there I felt a terrible pang because I knew right away how much it would have hurt him to be signing those cards from him and not from him and mum. Life is full of once absolutely normal activities and rituals like signing cards that are now tipped with barbs which dig in and remind us sharply of our loss and its worse for my dear dad. We took up Christmas wreaths to the cemetery for mum and also to her brother, the Comrade, which was terribly hard.

I know some folks say don't put yourselves through the wringer like that, but its impossible not to go. We did our best though and dad made a huge effort in the kitchen, with my cousin and her hubby over for dinner as they usually are. Obviously not on a par with the cooking and baking mum created (which was outstanding) but we did our best and had a good meal and a decent afternoon and evening drinking and chatting away. Very mixed day, as I say, it wasn't all sadness, we had good moments, but everyday there's something which gets us and at this time of year its far more pronounced.

Edinburgh - German Christmas market 1

Edinburgh - German Christmas market 1
Originally uploaded by byronv2

Merry Christmas, have a nice, hot, spiced drink

Christmas

I don't think I have ever looked forward to a Christmas less than I do this year, it drives further home the stark fact that mum isn't there with us. Its not hard to see why so many people suffer depression at this time of year.

The story of the first Christmas

And thus it came to pass that the Lord did send forth a falling star to lead the Magi, the Three Wise Men, to the birthplace of the Son of God and Saviour of Mankind. Alas the falling star was caught and placed in someone's pocket who was determined it should never fade away.

And so the Lord did sent forth a second lone star to guide the Wise Men, but alas this was seized by a group of loud and quarrelsome people who would one day create the state of Texas.

Finally the Lord, at no inconsiderable expense, had to send forth a third start, making it pretty damned clear that he would not spring for a fourth to go forth, this was it. And this star appeared in the dark sky as a flaming torch to lead the way to the son of god and so it came to pass that the Magi were lead to their preordained destination, which pleased them much for they had no travel insurance and were voyaging on a budget and feared they could get no refund it they did not make the trip. Budget was all they could afford, having spent all their money on gold, frankincense and myrrh, which due to currency devaluation now cost even more than they had planned for. Alas, a few days after venerating the infant Jesus the Wise Men all died horribly of radiation poisoning brought on from such close proximity to the lethal output of a small star. Thus the Lord did decide that when the Second Coming was due he would invest in GPS and a decent Sat-Nav and perhaps just text the next set of Wise Men, assuming they hadn't been arrested and held without trial or charge because their Middle-Eastern appearance made them look suspicious.

Joseph, the cuckolded husband, did take his new infant stepson and his wife to the census decreed by the Roman authorities, passing the group of No2ID protestors. And the civil servant did ask him if truly he deserved the Job Seeker's Allowance and had he been actively seeking work while they asked his wife to bring forth the child's true father who was ordered to pay maintenance and admit responsibility before she could claim Child Benefit payments. And thus it was that Joseph was told to get on his donkey and look for a job, but lo the best paid carpentry jobs had all been taken by Polish immigrants and he was forced to take a position in Lidl.

Christmas market

The Winter Wonderland and German Market on the Mound which comes to Edinburgh each Christmas season:

Christmas market vid

Christmas market vid
Originally uploaded by byronv2

A quick 360 view around the German Market, Christmas Fair and Winter Wonderland in and around Princes Street Gardens and the Galleries on the Mound which just opened in Edinburgh the other night.

Dad's home

Great news this afternoon, a nice early Christmas present - my dad's been released from hospital after his tests proved okay and he's home. I'm just about to catch a train back through again myself shortly and as you can imagine the sense of relief is enormous. The medical staff seemed pretty confident on Saturday when I spoke with them, but there's always that niggling worry that at the last minute they might decide he had to stay in for something else, but nope, he's home and we're bloody happy. Many thanks to the folks who sent me positive wishes, much appreciated. I've got a huge desire to stick on the Tom and Jerry set I got dad a couple of years back and sit down with him to watch the 'Twas the night before Christmas' one from the 40s. I might just do that. Now, folks, if you'll excuse me its time to click my ruby red Doc Martens together and repeat "there's no place like home, there's no place like home..." Have a good Christmas, everybody.

Whoo
Originally uploaded by Beckbecky

Courtesy of BeckyBecky, one of my Flickr and Fotolog chums, comes this scene from SantaCon which is both funny and disturbing at the same time! If this is Santa I hate to think what state Rudolf and his red nose are in...

(click to see the full size pic on my Flickr page)

The lovely Victorian merry-go-round in Princes Street Gardens as part of the Winter Wonderland; annoyingly I missed getting pics of the official switching on of the Christmas lights and opening of the Winter Wonderland and the craft fair and German market because I didn't know what time it started on Thursday, although I did see it all coming on and fireworks going off as I sat on the upper deck of the bus on the way home. Still, the evening before, on a wild, windy, wet winter's night I saw them testing out the lights and the colours through the rain-spattered caught my eye and since reflections on the bus window or camera shake didn't matter much for this kind of pic I thought I'd just snap it.