My new book

I would like to announce to readers of the Woolamaloo Gazette that I am releasing the letters John F. Kennedy gave to me when I built my own Tardis and went back in time to 1962. In those astounding letters Jack Kennedy told me how he feared he would be killed in an apparent accident in his car. Eleven months later he was apparently shot by Lee Harvey Oswald as his car drove through Dealey Plaza in Texas. The fact that I am only releasing these historic letters now has, of course, nothing to do with the fact that I am about to go on a publicity tour for my new book, John F Kennedy – Was There a Conspiracy? I’m sure you’ll agree this may re-write history and will want to read the extracts exclusively in the Daily Masturbator starting tomorrow. Back and to the left. Back and to the left…. Sorry, got stuck there for a moment…

Damned good

Top new show tip from yer Uncle Joe is Dead Like Me on Fridays on Sky. Girl trying to figure out what the hell to do with life and why it sucks is killed by a supersonic toilet seat falling from the Mir station. Wakes up dead and finds she’s been recruited as a Reaper, someone who has to mark then pull the soul of someone about to die. Pretty funny in an often sick manner (oh, one of my favourite types of humour) and even the scenes which could be schmaltzy, such as when she is told her assignment is to take the soul of a young kid and she tries to cheat fate are actually handled well. Think some sugary Mid-West-pleasing crap like Highway to Heaven but scripted by the David Lynch and some of the writers from the X-Files. A show about the afterlife where our heroine is killed by a space age loo seat in the first episode and then gets her assignments to pick up souls on Post-It notes in a Waffle House has to be interesting.