The Easter holiday weekend, when we remember Jesus Christ who died then rose from the grave, walked out of the tomb as an Undead, munched on some passing disciple’s brains and so gave birth to the zombie genre and set the scene for the horror messiah Saint George of Romero. And praise also to the Catholic Church who took time out from buggering young children to create the myth of Transubstantiation where they held that the wine and the Host wafer literally became the body and blood of Christ when taken at services, giving life eternal, thus also promoting both the cannibal horror sub genre and of course the vampire. Where would modern horror be without Jesus and the Catholic Church, eh?
As we celebrate the festival of Easter (or the Pagan New Year) and the symbol of our Lord and Saviour who died so that we may have a good excuse to eat chocolate eggs I notice that the chocolate Jesus sculpture I mentioned last week didn’t get exhibited when the gallery cravenly gave into the rabid cries of the Catholic church in America that it was insulting to them. Obviously the broke, tortured and mutilated Jesus they show in every one of their churches nailed to a cross is so much more tasteful. Assuming of course he was the Messiah and not just a very naughty boy.
And on the whole cross thing anyway, I am reminded of the wise words of another prophet who walked among humanity for a short time before being taken away, Saint Bill of Hicks, who observed sagely that should Jesus prove to the the son of God and actually come back as promised, you think he ever, ever wants to see another cross? “Christians wearing a crucifix is kinda like remembering JFK by wearing a rifle pendant…”