Top Secret

The latest story to emerge in the sorry tale of the White House and Downing Street’s joint cover-up of an (alleged) is that the document covering Blair talking Bush out of bombing Arabic broadcaster al-Jazeera is that there is no such document. And there aren’t two men facing court charges under the Official Secrets Act because, of course, the secret document they leaked doesn’t exist. And it isn’t just an attempt by Downing Street to protect the reputation of George Bush according to Attorney General Goldsmith, it’s about the rule of law. And obviously we can completely trust Goldmsith’s word on this because as we know from his rulings on the legality of the war he is completely above and beyond political pressure and interference in his legal interpretations.

Then again, cynics may say the janitor as Goldsmith’s College has a more reliable opinion on legal matters… Besides the latest rumour of this non-existent document is that Bush didn’t try to bomb al-Jazeera only to be persuaded by Tony that it wasn’t the best idea. Actually, with his less than comprehensive grasp of world events Bush apparently called for the bombing of Al Bundy because he saw Married With Children as undermining the sacred values of the all-American Christian family lifestyle. However, Blair’s son Euan is a big fan of the show and begged his father to persuade his chum George to desist.

Some right-wing talk radio pundits in the US have said that bombing media centres would not violate the US constitution since they would not attempt to censor any broadcast or freedom of speech and the Constitution says nothing about bombing buggery out of journalists. Impeding their freedom of speech would be illegal, one commentator said, but blowing the crap outta them is perfectly legal.

On a more serious note, how the hell can you legally take people to court for breaching the Official Secrets Act over a document that you say doesn’t exist? And how scary is it that the events we have seen in the last few years have been Bush with whatever small restraint Blair can bring to bear on him? What the hell would he be like without Tony’s influence???