Blair aide arrested

It was highly amusing to read not only about one of Tony Blair’s top aides, Ruth Turner, being arrested by the Metropolitan Police investigating the scandal of the cash-for-peerages allegations (imagine that, corrupt politicians!!!). It was even more amusing to read the panicked but arrogant responses from senior government figures who were outraged that Turner was arrested in an early morning swoop by police at her home – amusing because early morning swoops are exactly what the police do to families with children that the Home Office has decided to boot out of the country (actually then there are more officers and it is even earlier in the morning, often breaking down the door, so she got off rather lightly) and this is a tactic the government finds perfectly acceptable, even when applied to young, terrified refugee children. No double standards there then.

The outrage and comments then flowing from government sources after the even also seemed to indicate that they think they and their friends are above the law and should never be treated in this manner, which does rather reinforce the public impression that they are as corrupt as Caligula, with senior police officials commenting that the remarks from ministers seem designed to interfere with and put pressure on the officers investigating the whole corruption scandal. If the Labour party wasn’t so deep in debt they’d probably try and do what Tony’s good mate, former Italian PM Berlusconi did and just buy all the media to control the story then rewrite the laws to make sure he wasn’t done for anything. And if that fails, try fainting in front of the cameras a few days before a trial so everyone thinks you are too ill to stand for it…

Iraq a disaster? Yup, sez Blair…

Tony Blair agreed with Sir David Frost’s remark that the endless violence in Iraq since the ‘liberation’ had “so far been pretty much of a disaster”. Downing Street spin doctors and other worthless people have already rushed forward to say that the meaning was ‘taken out of context’ (can’t they ever think on a better excuse for these slips?) and that this wasn’t exactly what the Prime Minister meant; in fact what he meant to say was the situation was a fucking disaster…

Elsewhere in his troubled government ministers at the MOD have admitted they have been taken by surprise by the level of combat British troops have had to face in southern Afghanistan (while other NATO countries bravely stay well put in the North). Allegations that poor planning has contributed to the large number of casualties have been levelled at the MOD. Some military analysts said the ministers were totally unprepared for serious combat because of a simple error: they confused Hellmand province with Hellman’s, a region internationally famous for the production of rich, creamy mayonnaise. Generals and ministers have denied this, but critics point out it would explain why the regiments of the Queen’s Own Royal Condiments were initially deployed.

Top Secret

The latest story to emerge in the sorry tale of the White House and Downing Street’s joint cover-up of an (alleged) is that the document covering Blair talking Bush out of bombing Arabic broadcaster al-Jazeera is that there is no such document. And there aren’t two men facing court charges under the Official Secrets Act because, of course, the secret document they leaked doesn’t exist. And it isn’t just an attempt by Downing Street to protect the reputation of George Bush according to Attorney General Goldsmith, it’s about the rule of law. And obviously we can completely trust Goldmsith’s word on this because as we know from his rulings on the legality of the war he is completely above and beyond political pressure and interference in his legal interpretations.

Then again, cynics may say the janitor as Goldsmith’s College has a more reliable opinion on legal matters… Besides the latest rumour of this non-existent document is that Bush didn’t try to bomb al-Jazeera only to be persuaded by Tony that it wasn’t the best idea. Actually, with his less than comprehensive grasp of world events Bush apparently called for the bombing of Al Bundy because he saw Married With Children as undermining the sacred values of the all-American Christian family lifestyle. However, Blair’s son Euan is a big fan of the show and begged his father to persuade his chum George to desist.

Some right-wing talk radio pundits in the US have said that bombing media centres would not violate the US constitution since they would not attempt to censor any broadcast or freedom of speech and the Constitution says nothing about bombing buggery out of journalists. Impeding their freedom of speech would be illegal, one commentator said, but blowing the crap outta them is perfectly legal.

On a more serious note, how the hell can you legally take people to court for breaching the Official Secrets Act over a document that you say doesn’t exist? And how scary is it that the events we have seen in the last few years have been Bush with whatever small restraint Blair can bring to bear on him? What the hell would he be like without Tony’s influence???


Who the bloody smegging hell helped Hutton write his report? Was it the same group of people worked on the Warren Comission who proved that Kennedy and the Texas Senator were all shot by a single magic bullet fired by Oswald? Tony Blair, his government and, even more incredibly, Alastair Campbell, the most evil and canniving of all the evil gang of sub-humanoids sent by the Lord of Hades to plague mankind (that’s Spin Doctors I’m talking about in case you didn’t get it) are ALL TOTALLY FUCKING INNOCENT, FRESH, FRAGRANT!!!!! THE BBC ARE THE SPAWN OF EVIL ATTACKING THAT POOR MR BLAIR….

Does anyone with a brain and eyes still believe a fucking word of what’s going on here? No wonder there are so many consporacy theorists out there when shit like this is pulled on the public. Blair’s still pretending to be a man of the people while fucking every student in the land, being a good leader while taking his own party to the edge of destructionto satisfy his own ego, pretending to be a civlised man while sneind British forces out on an unprovoked war of agression and pretending it was all for our own good and that those pesky weapons we went to war to defend the world against will turn up anyday… He’s been taking lessons from that smeghead Bush in artificial reality poltiics, hasn’t he?

Okay, the Beeb fucked up seriously in the way they handled the whole tale. However they did, as public service broadcasters, have to report the allegations. And given the utter lack of WMDs found, still a relevant story. And frankly, I cannot believe for a moment that Campbell’s spin office did not have a hand on the whole Dr Kelly name leaking. Nothing, but nothing is released by this paranoid and control-freak led government without going through a carfeul airbrushing from what was then Campbell’s office. And if he was in on it then so was Blair since he faithfully reports all to his master.

Paranoid? Look at it this way – Blair just this week took his own party to within 5 votes of defeat and possible government collapse over student top up fees and variable charging at universities. When your party has a majority in parliament which runs way into three figures then coming within 5 votes of defeat takes some skill. And shame on almost all of the Scottish Labour MPs who voted for Blair to save his worthless ass – including my own MP Alistair Campbell (the same one i pillorried a few months back for not even being able to recall we have a parliamen tin Scotland and not a mere ‘assembly’ even although it sits inside his constituency). Shame on you all for abandoning all of your principles and those your apry stood for for decades to protect your political careers. And Blair? Well, not doing all of this was a MANIFESTO PROMISE! He promised the British people if elected again he would not do this. He was then prepared to split the government over it. HE LIED! Yes, folks, he fucking lied and broke a promise. Now how can we possibly beleive anything now from or about a man who cannot keep his word?

I’m now waiting ont he blockbuster, four-hour movie that Oliver Stone is going to make of the whole thing… “Blair and to the right…Blair and to the right…”

The BBC – yes those pesky evil doers who I still trust more than any government on the planet – have the entire report available to download here.

Tony and God

How nice to see Saint Tony throwing off the advice of his heathen spin doctors this week to nail his devout Christian colours to the mast. Now most of our US chums will be used to their politicians invoking God, but it is not the done thing in the UK; frankly we find it a little embarrasing. I have no problem with anyone’s religious beliefs – it is a fundamental right after all – as long as they keep it to themselves and don’t stick it in my face. What’s worrying is that Tony is talking to God and making decisions of world importance based on these ideas. He’s prepared to face his maker on Judgement Day and answer to God for the innocent lives lost as a result of his decisions in the Iraq War.

Well, that is all very nice for Tony (not sure God wants to know about him, frankly and from what I recall of Jesus he certainly won’t want to meet him, he was for turning the cheek not cluster bombing civilians). However, as far as I am aware, God Almighty is not a registered voter in any UK constituency. I and many hundreds of thousands – indeed millions – of others who opposed the war and spoke out or demonstrated against it and are registered voters. Blair in his sanctimonious smugness and arrogance chose deliberately to ignore all of us. I think perhaps that he should be judged by the people of this country before any mythical deity gets a shot at the smegger. And you have to admit it is a nice touch – a fine way to help persuade Muslims around the world that this wasn’t a war on Islam, a new Crusade. Invoke the Christian god in your reasoning for killing Muslims. Hmmm, that is really going to help…