Ask not for whom the road tolls…

Confusion and bitter recriminations were the order of the day as Edinburgh citizens began to vote in the controversial proposal for road tolls for the city centre to relieve congestion. Further confusion was sown when a number of ballots were posted to citizens to poll them on the subject matter of ‘toad rolls’ instead of road tolls. The city’s French deli’s were outraged when they found out this was a typo and are considering suing the council for the cost of their stock orders of fresh frogs and baguettes.

Worries about Iraq-style election violence with Motoring fundamentalists ramming cars full of explosives into ‘yes’ campaign headquarters proved false, although it could simply be that they were stuck in heavy traffic cursing the bus and cycle lane users.

The council’s transport spokesperson also cleared up the muddle over what ‘congestion charging’ actually was since some of the dimmer members of Edinburgh society thought it meant people who had eaten too much would be taxed more.