Gag my Google

In the last few days Google was being cheered online and in the Blogosphere because they stood up to the stormtroopers of the US administration who will not be satisfied until they can invade the privacy of every citizen. They can’t find Bin Liner, sorry, Bin Laden, the most wanted man on the planet but they can spy on their own citizens ‘for the greater good’. While spineless, gutless wimps like AOL and Microsoftinthehead quickly complied with government demands for access on site visit information Google told them to go download themselves. We cheered.

Then Google did make like Microsoft and others by caving in completely to the dictatorship in China by supplying a special Google for China which cuts out all of those sites the old men in that repressive regime don’t want their citizens looking at in advance (tiannemen Square, pro-democracy sites and who knows what else). They argue it is better to be a part of the system becaue somehow – magically – that will slowly transform it and after all, it is business. Yeah and the companies who made the chemicals for the gas in the concentration camps were just doing ‘business’. Reporters Without Borders joined the condemnation today, asking how Google could stand up for their American users last week then sell their souls to the devil this week. Companies making deals like this with repressive regimes like China have become the modern world’s version of the appeasers of the 1930s, spineless, lacking the courage to match their convinctions and ready to sell their morals for a (seemingly) good deal. Those ‘good’ deals will bite them on the ass one day.

Anyway, I thought perhaps before I utterly condemned them I should perhaps try it myself, so here we go with a very special Chinese edition of the Woolamaloo Gazette which has been specifically edited to meet the rigorous demands of the Chinese Government and the sell-out suckers of Satan’s pecker at Google:

The Woolamaloo Gazette Special China Friendly Google Edition

Welcome to our first special Chinese Google edition where we can exclusively reveal to our readers in Asia that the

Zhang Ziyi’s delectable chin.

We hope this special report has been informative. We would apologise for any censored lines, but of course neither Google nor the Glorious People’s Republic would ever dream of cutting words.