We at the Woolamaloo Gazette and the Woolamaloo Broadcasting Coproration would like to assure that our editor-in-chief will not be resigning any time in the near future, despite attacks on some of our groundbreaking stories which so upset those in authority. When challenged by Alastair Campbell to resign over the Woolamaloo’s scoop ‘Alistair Campbell sacrifices babies to Bal to make report go well for him’ and our related story ‘Tony Blair has photographs of Lord Hutton fisting the Queen, threatens to release them if not exhonerated’ the editor in chief replied ‘eat smeg and die, Spin Demon’, before breaking a bottle of wine and waving the jagged end in his face and asking him to come ahead if he thought he was hard enough (our editorial team were trained at the Glasgow School of Investigative Journalism).

Some critics from New Labour have complained that the Woolamaloo Gazette has been biased against them since they took power and that we were pursuing our own agenda. We here say, hand on our hearts, that we are biased only against wankers, bastards and lying, manipulating scum. As for the agenda, well they have us there – we do have an agenda; it is to pursue these buggers mercilessly and lampoon and satarise the bastards until they bleed. Well, we can’t expect Mark Thomas to do it all, can we? We at the Gazette stand for Truth, Social Justice, International Understanding and Taking the Piss. We are committed to this mission ethos and will pursue it with every sarcastic fibre of our being for as long as the wankers hold power anywhere in any land in the world.

On which topic I’d like to direct you to something my mate Matthew highlighted from the excellent Riverbend’s Baghdad Burning blog: the threat of Shari’a Law replacing independent justice in Iraq and the fact that no-one in the western media seems to be covering this story. Nope, no sarcastic take here, just read it, it’s important. Our leaders are still pretending we liberated the Iraqis, yet here is the American-appointed, undemocratic Ruling Council about to plunge the women of Iraq back to the middle ages and no-one here seems to know or care.