The Black Widow

For a little Halloween treat head over here and listen to a classic Alice Cooper track, The Black Widow, which begins with a cameo voice-over from that gentleman actor with the velvety voice, Mr Vincent Price.

Rock the world

Geologists have found the oldest rocks on Earth, dating back some 4.28 billion years (a Thursday afternoon), in Hudson Bay, Canada, reports the BBC. You might think since the Earth is ancient it should be relatively simple to find rocks almost as old as our world itself, but since the Earth is a very dynamic world where even the very continents move many of the oldest rocks have long been crushed or slipped back into the interior of the world.

The Woolamaloo Gazette spoke to Billy Granite, a leading local rock, who said he and the entire Igneous, Metamorphic and Trans-sedimentary community were extremely pleased with this new scientific discovery. "Our rocky community is often disparaged by many religious groups, "Mr Granite explained, "they maintain that some mythical creator came along and waved a magic wand to make everything in a few days. Rock-kind find this a bigoted and ignorant view point as it completely dismisses the millions and billions of years stones and rocks have put into crafting our wonderful world and we think these religious bigots should shut up and give some credit to us. They're happy enough to use us to build their bloody churches but then spread lies about us."

While religious bigotry and ignorance to rock-kind is, sadly, fairly common, especially in certain parts of America, the problem can escalate to outright hate crimes and violence - only last month two fossils were attacked in a public park in Seattle by fundamentalist Christians. It can only be hoped that new scientific research helps to undermine the ridiculous position of the religious right.

Like a drug

Going through some old albums recently I came across one I hadn't listened to in ages, one of my favourite bands that no-one else ever seems to have heard of when I mention them, rock band They Eat Their Own, who I picked up years ago in one of the second hand record stores in Edinburgh - must have been the early 90s because I remember the lyrics to one song, Better Now, turned out to be appropriate for a college essay I was working on and I ended up quoting them to add a nice touch to the paper. There isn't a huge amount out there on They Eat Their Own, but there is a YouTube of Like a Drug. Which is, as it happens, the song that reminded me to dig out that album because Fiona Apple who I've been listening to recently does a cover of it. Although her version isn't quite as rude and sadly this video version by the original creators is also slightly censored version - "you consume every thought but if you called me I would tell you to fuck off" becomes "tell you to get lost" which just doesn't have the same raw impact, but it was all I could find.

"I don't buy
Your true life stories
'Cause I've seen
The way you lie
But I don't mind
The things you tell me
Because I know
We'll say anything to get by

But when we're together
Somehow I feel better
My disease always tricks me
I believe you can fix me

You're insane
I love the drama
Tell the truth
You love it too I know you
Reason strikes
We fight and break up
'Cause it seems
The easiest thing to do

But when I don't get your call
I go into withdrawal
You consume every thought
But if you called me I would tell you to fuck off

I need you
I need you like a drug
I need you
I need you like a
I need you
I need you like a drug
I need you
I need you like a
Drug

It turns me on
To say I love you
But deep inside
I know it's lust not love at all
One day we
Will leave each other
But we pretend
The end's not inevitable

I require protection
From my own obsession
In the object of you
One day I will rise above you

I need you
I need you like a drug
I need you
I need you like a
I need you
I need you like a drug
I need you
I need you like a

Until then
We'll stay together
I guess things could be much worse
One day things will be much better
But I don't really want to write another verse

'Cause when we're together
Somehow I feel better
My disease always tricks me

I believe you can fix me

I need you
I need you like a drug
I need you
I need you like a
I need you
I need you like a drug
I need you
I need you like a
I need you
I need you like a drug
I need you
I need you like a
I need you"
I need you like a drug"

Seven Ages of Rock

I've really been enjoying the Seven Ages of Rock series on the BBC these last few weekends, from the Who ("Won't Get Fooled Again" is still one of the most kick-ass rock songs with great guitar licks) and Hendrix (who give me my theme tune, "hey, Joe, where you going with that laptop in your hand? Gonna write my old blog down...") through the wonderfully weird late 60s early 70s stuff (Floyd and the Wall, the wonderfully androgynous Bowie), the performance rock (dear old Freddie and the boys from Queen), the Metal years (memories of my leather-clad, long-haired, headbanging times at Madison's rock club), great goddam music.

Then last week's episode, Left of the Dial, charting indy rock from the mid 80s to mid 90s, from early REM through to Seattle, Nirvanna, Henry Rollins, Black Flag, the grunge scene. Again great music, great attitude (almost punk in the DIY and fuck-it-all attitude) but for me personally that one was something more; that was the soundtrack to my student life, the music of my college years, drinking, noisy parties with various substances passing around, good friends, more drinking, doing a course I really liked (where watching movies counted as 'research') and basically having one of the best bloody time of my life (never understood the cliche that the school days were the best of your life - college was much better. It came with louder music, later night, longer mornings and drink and other pleasurable things). Somewhere along the line I also managed to earn myself a good degree in between waking up after a party and finding someone had painted 'graffiti' on our flat's walls with shaving foam or tripping over my wall mirror on the floor because someone had taken it down to snort off of. And that music there all the time. That episode just plugged me directly back into my mid 20s student life for an hour. And I fucking loved it. Might be years in the past now (scary to think how many years and how quickly they've gone past) but god that music just pulled it right out of me as if it was yesterday. And at least that era didn't end with a shotgun in the mouth for me. I love classical music, I adore jazz, but a big part of my soul is forever rock and roll, a true believer in the Holy Trinity: bass, drums and electric geetar, baby. There's a part of me that still wants to bawl out "touch me, I'm sick". I hope there always will be.