New variant of Swine Flu

Medical researchers at the University of Woolamaloo have identified a serious new mutated variation of Swine Flu, which has been dubbed Pigs in the Trough Flu. Symptoms include milking public funds for huge personal gain then complaining vociferously if said moral abuses are aired in the media whose job it is to hold public figures to account. So far it is largely restricted to politicians, although doctors think that it is closely related to the not dissimilar Fat Feline Flu, which many senior bankers and investors contracted with such disastrous results.

The Celtic Kama Sutra

This new book tells of the mysterious, miraculous and ancient shagging techniques passed on through the centuries: the love secrets of the Celts. This manual on better loving includes the many exotic practices and fascinating techniques and positions practised by our Celtic ancestors, including:

Raising the Sporran

The Kinky Kilt

Tossing the Caber

The Mighty Claymore

Stuffing the Haggis

The Highland Fling

Scottish Sword Dancing (for ladies with multiple male partners only)

The Boudica (for the more dominant lady)

The Gathering of the Clans (for real swingers only, yeah, baby, yeah!)

The Celtic Kama Sutra is researched and written by Doctor Hamish MacDeevyant, lecturer in Classical and Ancient Shagging at the University of Woolamaloo (Auchterarder Annex).