The Kangaroo Liberation Front has issued a statement saying that it did not in fact offer $100 dollars for each US hostage taken in their fight for marsupial rights.
It was $50. They’re not bloody worth anymore than that, mate, explained Drongo McThumper, spokes’roo for the KLF. President Bush has meanwhile told Congress that he requires 45670850 billion dollars to continue the war against the KLF, who he decries as ‘evil terrorists’ despite the fact the kangaroo peoples only started hitting US targets after Halliburton started ruining their drinking water by drilling for oil in the Australian deserts. In the meantime allegations by the Red Cross of systematic abuse of kangaroos held illegally in camps by US forces continue to surface. Donald Rumsfeld has so far failed to comment on the photographs of two US guards forcing captive KLF members to don red gloves and box each other to a bloody pulp for their amusement.