Weapons of Mass Decpetion
Peace campaigners have resurrected the traditonal Easter protest (Easter – resurrection – geddit?). Top Scottish author and well known bearded chap Iain Banks added his voice commenting that it was hypocritical of Tony Blair to take the UK into an illegal war supposedly to secure WMDs when the UK government had a vast arsenal in the lochs and glens of Scotland.
As per my usual heathen customs over Easter I crucified a priest, let him die slowly then sealed his body in a rock tomb over the weekend. Then bugger me if I didn’t forget to check on him on the way home on Monday to see if he managed to resurrect himself. If he had I was going to convert right there and then – HALLELUJAH! I SAW THE LIGHT! then I put on my shades, too bright for my tastes – since I work on the assumption if the crucified priest comes back to life then there is a God. And if there isn’t then I can wrap the corpse in some cloth and make some Shroud of Turin merchandise to make a buck or two. Getcha Shroud tea towels here! Two for a tenner – have your dishes dried and blessed! Guess I’ll have to make one with a second image on it for added authenticity now after recent claims. I always said these religious types were two-faced you know. Anyway, if the Shroud now shows two faces doesn’t that make it more likely to be the image of Janus, the two-faced Roman trickster god instead of Jesus?
Simpsons creator Matt Groening is finally to appear as himself in the show. He has cropped up before but never as a proper speaking character. Well if it’s good enough for Mary Kate and Ashley…. As long as the actor’s strike doesn’t put a stop to the whole thing of course.