I hate everything about…

Watching the Kerrang channel while typing away here and on came a blast from my past: Ugly Kid Joe and Everything About You. By the great grizzled gods of heavy rock, I ain’t heard that one in ages. Instant nostalgia trip as I used to dance my heavy metal socks off to that one regularly with my college chum Metal Mel (who had pics of herself abckstage with just about everyone in rock and roll). We used to headbang till the sun came up every weekend at Madison’s in Edinburgh (alas now a bloody restaurant!) back in our student days in the 90s. Earsplitting fun as we’d rock our hearts out together in biker boots, leathers and bandanas (so not a big style change for me today really, eh?), long hair flying to Ugly Kid Joe, Nirvanna, Pearl Jam, AC/DC, Aerosmith, Rage Against the Machine… Soooo much fun, best club I ever visited, we had so many good nights there with the metal and Goth crowds, stomped and moshed at rock gigs then reviewed them for the college rag (yes, reviewing is something I’ve done in one form or another for a long time – one day some bugger will pay me for it – I can do it better than most of the divits in half the newspapers and mags I read, he said modestly (but it’s true)). Ah, back when life was carefree and fun and I had long flowing locks and there were no problems that couldn’t be alleviated by a good doobie and a headbanging dance with a hot rock babe.

And yes, before you ask, I did dance around the flat to it, much to the amusement of the cats. Fortunately for my downstairs neighbour I didn’t have my cowboy boots on – those Cuban heels on a wooden floor; noisy! Ah, sweet nostalgia. What was it dear old Spike Milligan once said of nostalgia? With the present so disturbing, the future so unsure and frightening no wonder the past often looks so inviting to us. Nice memories of those times, but the me of that time would be looking at the me of today and thinking, fuck, this isn’t where you’re supposed to be, what happened? Good question – I don’t know and have even less idea how to change it. Like Homer once said “I used to rock and roll every night and part every day. Now I’m lucky if I can find half an hour a week in which to get funky.”

Still, right after that was the new video from the Offpsring, with digital animation over the faces of the lead singer and his dog – totally fucking cool song and superb video. Moral to this tale: ignore the real world and live in books, films and rock and roll fantasy land. Peter Pan with thrash guitar and pounding drums (and lots of alcohol and doing rude things to Wendy after our dance, oh yeah, baby).