We all live in a Orcish submarine…

According to the Ten Things feature on the BBC-I page the Beatles once tried to buy the movie rights for Lord of the Rings from Tolkien, with John down to play Gollum. Such a shame we’ll never know now how this version would compare against Peter Jackson’s masterpiece (okay, still one to see, but I am confident it is as excellent as the first two). In my not so humble opinion Andy Serkis would not have had much to fear from Lennon’s interpretation of Gollum somehow. Would the Beatles’ Lord of the Rings have been as fine an artistic endeavour as Leonard Nimoy’s Ballad of Bilbo Baggins? Ah, we shall never know, unless we manage to travel to an alternate dimension where it happened.

Pointless presents

Among the numerous adverts attempting to get us all to spend too much on credit for Xmas presents is an advert from Woolies attempting to persuade us to buy the DVD of David ‘Ego’ Blaine’s recent stunt. A whole DVD of a skinny egomaniac in a plastic box on a wire. How fucking bored do you have to be to want to watch this? What do the extras consist of? The Making of the Box? Multiple camera angles of the box? Perhaps there is an interactive component where you get to throw things at his box just like most of the British population di to this insufferable twat.