Tired of being force-fed his constant, self-aggrandising, shamelessly self promotional gimmicky stunts on television, one of the Magic Tricycle’s leading luminaries, Il Penguin Mysteriouso is to upstage David Blaine by making the tireless self promoting one the subject of his next great magic trick.

“Blaine used to perform some cool illusions and magic tricks, but now he is performing meaningless stunts which have nothing to do with either entertainment or magic. He has plugged shamelessly into the modern televisual desire for supposedly real television experiences that actually accomplish and mean nothing,” explained Il Penguino. “Once upon a time P.T. Barnum and the Great Houdini also pushed their PR relentlessly to promote their image – but at least they were performing fantastic, breath-taking, highly intricate acts at the same time, not sitting in a block of ice, having a flag pole up your arse for days or being locked in with no food (is it just me or is this in bad taste given the number of folk who starve to death in our world each year?). “

At a press conference timed for the opening weekend of Blaine’s latest stunt Il Penguino informed the gathered press that he intended to stage one of the most impressive magical illusions in history at the Las Vegas Sleazorama – he will attempt to make David Blain’s ego disappear before the astonished crowds. If successful it will go down as one of the greatest stage illusions in magical history. He was asked what he would do next if he was succe3ssful – where would he go from up? One journalist suggested he could create the illusion that Gorge Bush wasn’t a greedy, self-serving tool of big industry, but Il Penguino laughed and said even a great magician had his limits. More as we get it, stay tuned to the Gazette.