The Australian army are to slaughter up to 15,000 kangaroos in order to stop them ‘over-grazing’ this year at an army base. Bouncer McFoster, the spokesroo for the KLF – the Kangaroo Liberation Front – told us this was just typical of the attitude of human Australians. “They destroy huge tracts of good land every year to build swimming pools, beach resorts and barbecue pits, yet the government say they have to kill thousands of kangaroos to protect the environment. The KLF will not take this sitting down. We have in recent years moved away from our previous violent actions and embraced diplomacy as a way forward between marsupials and humans. We will be asking the United Nations and the Court of International Justice in the Hague to look into this. If that fails however, the KLF is prepared to take arms and drown the Oz army in a storm of marsupial blood.”

A spokesperson for the Oz government said he had been quoted out of context and blamed everything on illegal immigrants and asylum seekers. George Bush backed the Oz government claiming the KLF were a terrorist organisation and part of the ‘Axis of Evil’. Bouncer replied that Bush was the biggest terrorist on the planet and was part of the Arsehole of Banal.