Am I A) wearing a veil to teach a children’s class; B) practising to be an urban Ninja; C) trying out my Captain Caveman costume for Halloween? D) trying to outdo hoody wearing kids for getting thrown out of malls or E) attempting to integrate into Western society? Answers on a postcard (terms and conditions: employees of the Woolamaloo Gazette, neo-Nazis and government ministers are exluded from participating)