Oh dear what can the matter be? A man has been superglued to the lavatory...

The Beeb reports that an unfortunate man was literally stuck to the loo after making use of public facilities in the West Midlands because someone spread superglue over the toilet seat. Firefighters had to help the ambulance crew and the man was taken out of the public loo with the toilet seat still attached to his nether regions. Good lord, is nothing sacred anymore? I'm all for a good joke, but the time a man spend meditating with the Porcelain Buddha should be sacred!

Midget glues dick to hoover at Fringe

Captain Dan the Demon Dwarf from the Circus of Horrors at the Edinburgh Fringe had to be taken to hospital after something went wrong with his act, part of which involves dragging a vacuum cleaner across the stage with his willy. A Fringe act, a stage, a hoover, an exposed cock and superglue = trip to the Edinburgh Royal Infirmary. The irony being the Circus of Horrors is almost next door to where the hospital stood for decades, before moving a couple of years back (the old grounds are being redeveloped for 'mixed' price apartments - in other words they will all go to rich buggers) so Captain Dan and his superglued dick and vacuum would have a much longer ride to the new hospital at the edge of town (handily placed for almost no-one in the city). Ouch. The lengths some men will go to get sucked off :-)...