Midget glues dick to hoover at Fringe

Captain Dan the Demon Dwarf from the Circus of Horrors at the Edinburgh Fringe had to be taken to hospital after something went wrong with his act, part of which involves dragging a vacuum cleaner across the stage with his willy. A Fringe act, a stage, a hoover, an exposed cock and superglue = trip to the Edinburgh Royal Infirmary. The irony being the Circus of Horrors is almost next door to where the hospital stood for decades, before moving a couple of years back (the old grounds are being redeveloped for 'mixed' price apartments - in other words they will all go to rich buggers) so Captain Dan and his superglued dick and vacuum would have a much longer ride to the new hospital at the edge of town (handily placed for almost no-one in the city). Ouch. The lengths some men will go to get sucked off :-)...

That's a lot of cock

The BBC site has an article on a Chinese restaurant in Beijing (or as they probably call them there, just restaurants) where their specialty is, well, cock. No, it isn't a combination of knocking shop and eatery, it is a restaurant with a menu of all sorts of cooked penises (or should that be 'penii'???). As with claims from the dodgier parts of Chinese homeopathic medicine that involve animal parts the owners of the restaurant claim these are very good for you. Eugh. Makes me very glad to be a veggie - somehow can't imagine Linda McCartney's range doing veggie willy in the near future. Mind you, if this sort of thing happened in Scotland we'd probably deep fry the appendages.