New variant of Swine Flu

Medical researchers at the University of Woolamaloo have identified a serious new mutated variation of Swine Flu, which has been dubbed Pigs in the Trough Flu. Symptoms include milking public funds for huge personal gain then complaining vociferously if said moral abuses are aired in the media whose job it is to hold public figures to account. So far it is largely restricted to politicians, although doctors think that it is closely related to the not dissimilar Fat Feline Flu, which many senior bankers and investors contracted with such disastrous results.

Sat-nav research

A research team at the University of Woolamaloo lead by the Department of Neurological Jiggery-Pokery's head Professor Baron Von Neuron has overturned recent research into sat-nav problems. Bon Neuron's team conducted exhaustive tests on sat-nav systems and drivers; while other recent reports have claimed poor interfaces, incorrect mapping dat and lack of familiarity for navigational problems experienced by drivers which have lead to people obeying instructions to turn left where there is a brick wall, into fields, canals or railway lines. The Woolamaloo University team, after months of analysis concluded that while incorrect data in the mapping was a factor the major component of sat-nav accidents, the principle element was stupidity.

Von Neuron explained that new technology had allowed the stupidest members of society to create entirely new forms of entertaining accidents, but this wasn't necessarily as bad a thing as it seems. In fact Von Neuron pointed out possible advantages to this real-world blindness on the part of insanely stupid drivers - some small tampering with sat-navs to lead them further astray into more accidents could help reduce the stupidity levels in the gene pool (disclaimer, Professor Baron Von Neuron's research was part funded by the Darwin Awards).