The Woolamaloo Gazette is a satirical newspaper I first started on email way back in 1992. It allows me to vent steam on stories which are bugging me or amusing me and hopefully make people think at the same time. Satire is the best defence in any democracy. The rest is just my ramblings, mumblings or rants. You can contact me via "laughing penguin (at) woolamaloo (dot) org (dot) uk" (remembering to swap at for @ and mind the gaps)
Saturday, January 09, 2010
The mysterious White Isles...
Somewhere, legend tells us, off the western end of the dark sea by the very edge of the known world lie the mysterious White Isles, a strange land blanketed in snow and ice where few may travel... How cool is this NASA satellite image of frozen Britain (via the BBC)? There's barely a scrap of colour to be seen, the entire British Isles appears to be white (must be a BNP dream!). Check the larger version on the Beeb site, its beautifully detailed and clear, you can easily see Loch Ness and the Great Glen in the north of Scotland while the western coast of Scotland looks astonishing
Hard to believe that on this day forty years ago human beings, for the first time in all of recorded history, were on their way to the moon. July 16th, 1969, and the enormous Saturn V lifts from its pad, its gigantic bulk suddenly no longer earthbound, and it reaches into the sky... and then beyond the sky. Humans have made many great explorations of new lands, uncharted oceans, jungles, deserts, mountains, but this, this was something completely new. Less than a decade after Gagarin had become the first man in space (an event itself which came only a couple of decades after jets made their first appearance, those in turn coming only four decades after Orville and Wilbur's historic first flight at Kittyhawk) humans were travelling to the Moon.
Its hung over every human culture there has ever been, since the days of hunter-gatherers, its been observed by the early priest-astronomers of the first civilisations in what we now call the Middle East, worshipped as a goddess by many cultures, observed by the first modern scientists like Galileo and Copernicus, its affected our weather and our tides for billions of years. But the idea of men on the Moon was a dream, a work of fantasy. Until July 1969. When it became something truly remarkable. An event that for one brief spell drew together all the peoples of our divided world into one species, dreaming the same dream, hoping the same hopes, willing Collins, Aldrin and Armstrong to succeed in the daring, dangerous endeavour. A magnificent moment.
NASA's restored video of Neil Armstrong's 'giant leap' (link via Boing Boing)
Giant steps are what you take, walking on the Moon...
This afternoon at the Edinburgh Film Festival I caught the UK premiere of the documentary by David Sington, In the Shadow of the Moon, detailing the glories (and the tragedies) of one of the biggest undertakings humans ever launched themselves on, the Apollo programme. As soon as I saw this in the EIFF programme this year I knew I was going to see it. I was born at the height of the Space Race; Mike Collins, Buzz Aldrin and Neil Armstrong's astonishing, history-making flight to the Moon on Apollo 11 was still a year and a half away. I grew up with an astronaut space suit costume to play in while Gagarin and Armstrong were on posters as my boyhood heroes (they still are, some things you never grow out of); the idea of space exploration has lived inside me my entire life and as I approach the big four-oh birthday on the last day of this year I get a little sad that those promises of holidays in space we were told the future would hold have never materialised and it looks less and less like that boyhood dream will ever come true.
But still it weaves a magical spell on me; as the footage of those enormous Saturn Vs ascending the heavens on a column of fire flickered across the screen I could feel the old excitement rising - the boy in me is never far from the surface and images and ideas like this always bring it out. Much of the footage has never been seen before and is literally out of this world. The story of our first tentative steps out of the cradle of the Earth to our nearest neighbour is told in their own words by many of the NASA astronauts who made those epic journeys, voyages of discovery that stand in a long line of human endeavours such as the explorations of James Cook, Magellan or those unknown Polynesian sailors who crossed vast oceans on small boats made of reeds.
One of those men featured was David Scott, an Apollo commander - a man I actually met a few years back when his publicist came in to my old bookstore to say he was across the road in the Balmoral Hotel doing interviews with the Scottish press and would we like him to come across and sign some copies of the book he had co-authored with his friend the Soviet cosmonaut Alexei Leonov (the first man to walk in space; his friend Arthur C Clarke would name a spaceship in his honour in the sequel to 2001). An ordinary day at work and then suddenly there I am chatting to a former astronaut and shaking hands with a man who had walked on the Moon; a man who got to live that boyhood dream of mine. Naturally I got one of those signed copies for myself; I've many signed books in my collection but only one signed by an author who has traveled far enough into space to look back and see the entirety of our world hanging in the void. We've all seen the pictures, but it wasn't until the crew of Apollo 8 voyaged around the dark side of the Moon that humans actually saw the entire Earth from space. They took the famous 'Earthrise' photograph, our world rising in the dark above the surface of the Moon, the furthest humans have yet been from our world.
Only a tiny handful of humans have ever seen that sight with their own eyes to this day, all now old men - to look at them in this film you could easily mistake them for someone's favourite uncle of grandfather. But in their prime these men dared death, road on a column of scientific dragon's fire further than anyone in the entire history of the world and in the process changed the way we see our little, beautiful world. It's so sad we've pulled back from those days; I'm not stupid, I'm well aware of my history and understand much of the colossal cost of the space programme was only met because of politics of the Cold War. And yet I can't help but feel we let ourselves become that much smaller as a species when we stopped pushing at the final frontier. Yes, I know we can spend the money on problems right here on Earth, but if we weren't so busy squabbling among ourselves we wouldn't need to waste so much on creating weapons - then we could spend that money on feeding and taking care of people here on Earth and have enough to explore, to go where no-one has gone before.
The Sad Tale of the Brothers Grossbart, Jesse Bullington Footnotes in Gaza, Joe Sacco My Dead Body, Charlie Huston Hobgoblin Wars, Leo Baxendale Orbus, Neal Asher Cash: I See a Darkness, Reinhard Kleist Naming of the Beasts, Mike Carey Bar None, Tim Lebbon God of Clocks, Alan Campbell The Best of Michael Moorcock, Michael Moorcock Burma Chronicles, Guy Delisle We Never Talk About My Brother, Peter S Beagle The King's Gold, Arturo Pereze Reverte Galapagos, Kurt Vonnegut Turn Coat, Jim Butcher Dr Jekyll & Mr Hyde (graphic novel adaptation), Klimowski & Schejbel Thicker Than Water, Mike Carey The Fencing Master, Arturo Perez Reverte Every Last Drop, Charlie Huston Seeds of the Earth, Mike Cobley The Plague, Albert Camus Harm, Brian Aldiss Essential Dykes to Watch Out For, Alison Bechdel Elmer part 4, Gerry Alanguilan Absolute Sandman Volume 4, Neil Gaiman et al Complete Ro-Busters, Pat Mills et al Sands of Sarasvasti, Risto Isomaki, Petri Tolppanen & Jussi Kaakinen Stickelback: England's Dreaming, Ian Edgington & D'Israeli The Essential Dykes to Watch Out for, Alison Bechdel The Wall of America, Thomas Disch Absolute Sandman Volume 3, Neil Gaiman et al In the Shadow of the Northern Lights: Swedish Underground Comics, Galago Vertigo Encyclopedia, Alex Irvine Swallow Me Whole, Nate Powell Too Cool to be Forgotten>/i>, Alex Robinson The Sun Over Breda, Arturo Perez Reverte Night Sessions, Ken MacLeod Steel Remains, Richard Morgan The Tale of One Bad Rat (hardback ed.), Bryant Talbot Digital Plague, Jeff Somers Bloodheir, Brian Ruckley Un Peau Avant le Fortune, Dupuy et Berberian The Yiddish Policeman's Union, Michael Chabon The Lost Child, Keith Donohue Britten & Brulightly, Hannah Berry That Salty Air, Tim Sievert Tonoharu, Lars Martinson Mobius Dick, Andrew Crumey Lives of the Monster Dogs, Kirsten Bakis The Devil's Right Hand, Lilith Saintcrow All the Blood in Brooklyn, Charlie Huston Death by Chocolate, David Yurkovich White Night, Jim Butcher Shooting War, Anthony Lappe and Dan Goldman Absolute Sandman Volume 2, Neil Gaiman et al Halting State, Charles Stross Matter, Iain M Banks The Poor Bastard, Joe Matt Tamara Drew, Posy Simmonds With the Light, Keiko Tobe Hard-Boiled Wonderland at the End of the World, Haruki Murakami The Last Samurai: The Life and Battles of Saigo Takamori, Mark Ravina Judge Dredd: the Carlos Ezquerra Collection, Wagner, Grant, Ezquerra et al Hellboy: the Troll Witch and Other Stories, Mike Mignola et al Cat's Cradle, Kurt Vonnegut Fox Bunny Funny, Andy Hartzell Neverwhere, Neil Gaiman Dead Men's Boots, Mike Carey Strontium Dog: the Search/Destroy Agency Files 02, Alan Grant, John Wagner, Carlos Ezquerra et al Riddley Walker, Russell Hoban Thrill Power Overload, Dave Bishop The Dreaming Void, Peter F Hamilton No Dominion, Charlie Huston Judge Dredd the Complete Case Files Volume 7, Wagner, Grant et al Alice in Sunderland , Bryan Talbot Dark Space, Marianne de Pierres The Steep Approach to Garbadale, Ian Banks Glasshouse, Charles Stross Black Hole, Charles Burns The Execution Channel, Ken MacLeod Dead Man Rising, Lilith Saintcrow Black Man, Richard Morgan Strontium Dog: the Search/Destroy Agency Files 01, Alan Grant, John Wagner, Carlos Ezquerra et al The Complete Nemesis the Warlock Vol 1, Pat Mills, Kevin O'Neill and Bryan Talbot Judge Dredd: the Complete Case Files Volume 6, Wagner, Grant, Smith, Ezquerra et al Ink: the Book of All Hours 2, Hal Duncan Wicked West II: Abomination & Other Tales, Livingston, Tinnell, Vokes et al Strange Girl 2: Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now, Remender, Nguyen et al Heart Shaped Box, Joe Hill Leviathan, Ian Edgington and D'Israeli Pride of Baghdad, Brian K Vaughan and Niko Henrichon Judge Dredd: the Complete Case Files Volume 5, Wagner, Ezquerra, Bolland et al The Sonambulist, Jonathan Barnes Already Dead, Charlie Huston Nova Swing, M John Harrison Rogue Trooper: RealpolitikVarious Kickback, David Lloyd Captain Alatriste: the Purity of the Blood , Arturo Perez-Reverte The Adventures of Captain Alatriste , Arturo Perez-Reverte Alan Quatermain, H Rider Haggard New Arabian Nights, Robert Louis Stevenson The Lathe of Heaven, Ursula Le Guin Judge Dredd: the Complete Case Files Volume 4, Wagner et al Anubis Gates, Tim Powers Scar Night, Alan Campbell Vicious Circle, Mike Carey Fiends of the Eastern Front, Finley-Day & Ezquerra Working For the Devil, Lilith Saintcrow Dead Beat, Jim Butcher Winterbirth, Brian Ruckley Polystom, Adam Roberts Judge Dredd: the Art of Kenny Who?, Wagner, Grant, Kennedy Grendel, John Gardner Hellboy: Strange Places, Mike Mignola Judge Dredd: the Complete Casefiles Volume 3, Wagner, Smith et al Concrete 4: Killer Smile, Paul Chadwick GradisilAdam Roberts Never Let Me GoKazuo Ishiguro Judge Dredd: the Complete Casefiles Volume 2, Mills, Wagner, Ezquerra et al The Lies of Locke Lamora, Scott Lynch Concrete 3: Fragile Creature, Paul Chadwick The Voyage of the Sable Keach, Neal Asher Babel-17, Samuel R Delany Judge Dredd: the Complete Casefiles Volume 1, Mills, Wagner, Ezquerra et al The Devil You Know, Mike Carey Shriek: an Afterword, Jeff Vandermeer Black Juice, Margo Lanagan Seven Soldiers of Victory Volume 1, Grant Morrison et al Dusk, Tim Lebbon 9Tail Fox, Jon Courtney Grimwood Classic Dan Dare: Prisoner of Saturn 2, Frank Hampton Damn Nation, Andrew Cosby and J Alexander Accelerando, Charles Stross The Demolished Man, Alfred Bester Judas Unchained, Peter F Hamilton Concrete Volume 1: Depths, Paul Chadwick Dusk, Tim Lebbon Storm Front, Jim Butcher The Incredible Adam Spark, Alan Bissett The Literary Traveller in Edinburgh, Alan Foster Anansi Boys, Neil Gaiman Vellum: the Book of All Hours, Hal Duncan Provender Gleed by James Lovegrove Nova Scotia, Edited by Andrew J Wilson and Neil Williamson
Recent pastimes:
Dancing to the Music of Time
Re-creating scenes from the Battle of Ticonderoga using only toy penguins
Creating new life from assorted body parts, Lego and glittersticks
Trying to see if cream cakes improve health
Thinking on ironic and painful punishments for Tony Blair and George Bush to endure
Teaching penguins to sing choral harmonies
Training my cats in anti-terrorism techniques
Making human-shaped figures out of raspberry jelly then trying to animate them by magic to do my bidding
Supporting my local brewery
Aiding the KLF (Kangaroo Liberation Front)
Some recent cinema outings:
The Girl With a Dragon Tattoo
The Crazies
Alice in Wonderland
Gentlemen Prefer Blondes
Micmacs
Solomon Kane
From Paris With Love
Breakfast at Tiffany's
Ponyo
Toy Story 2 3D
Singing in the Rain
Daybreakers
Sherlock Holmes
Avatar
Where the Wild Things Are
The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus
National Lampoon's Animal House
Men Who Stare at Goats
Zombieland
Toy Story 3D
Surrogates
Creation
Mesrine: Killer Instinct
District 9
The Thing
Dorian Gray
Inglorious Basterds
Public Enemies
Coco Before Chanel
Dr No
Martyrs
Terminator Salvation
Spartacus
Star Trek
Tintin in Tibet
From Russia With Love
In the Loop
Let the Right One In
Monsters Versus Aliens
Religulous
Boat That Rocked
The Good, the Bad and the Ugly
Two Lovers
Milk
Valkrie
All About Eve
Waltz With Bashir
The 39 Steps
Quantum of Solace
Day the Earth Stood Still
Mirrors
Wall-E
Star Wars: Clones Wars
Man on Wire
The Dark Knight
Hellboy II: the Golden Army
The Incredible Hulk
Edge of Love
The Wackness
Elegy
Jules et Jim
Fear(s) of the Night/Peur(s) du Noir
Idiots and Angels
Jason and the Argonauts
Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day
Paris
Le Voyage de Ballon Rouge
The Orphanage
Diary of the Dead
The Other Boleyn Girl
Celebrity
Juno
Cloverfield
Alien Vs Predator: Requiem
Lust: Caution
Sweeney Todd
Charley Wilson's War
I am Legend
The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford
Beouwulf 3D
Ratatouille
30 Days of Night
Seachd: the Inaccessible Pinnacle
Michael Clayton
The Brave One
Resident Evil: Extinction
3:10 to Yuma
Atonement
Run, Fat Boy, Run
Bourne Ultimatum
Day Watch
Manufacturing Dissent: Uncovering Michael Moore
In the Shadow of the Moon
Tekkonkinkreet
The Hottest State
Stardust
Hallam Foe
The Simpsons Movie
Casablanca
La Vie en Rose
Die Hard 4.0
Shrek the Third
Ocean's Thirteen
Pirates of the Caribbean: at World's End
Jan Svankmajer animated shorts
28 Weeks Later
Spider-Man 3
The Painted Veil
Factory Girl
300
Becoming Jane
The Illusionist
Ghost Rider
Last King of Scotland
The Science of Sleep
Hot Fuzz
The Fountain
Night at the Museum
Perfume: the Story of a Murder
The Wizard of Oz
Manhattan
Pan's Labyrinth
Casino Royale
The Prestige
The Devil Wears Prada
The Departed
Clerks 2
Cars
Hoodwinked
The Black Dahlia
An Inconvenient Truth
Severance
Al Franken: God Spoke
Art School Confidential
Clerks II
My Country, My Country
The Host
Busting
Lady in the Water
Wristcutters: a Love Story
Cars
Driving Lesson
Friends With Money
Miami Vice
The Break-Up
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest
Superman Returns
Mildred Pierce
X-Men 3: the Last Stand
Mission Impossible III
Silent Hill
Slither
Junebug
The Proposition
Inside Man
V For Vendetta
Syriana
Walk the Line
Good Night and Good Luck
Cache (Hidden)
Underworld: Evolution
Brokeback Mountain
Memoirs of a Geisha
Hidden Blade
The Producers
I'm a 30-something blogger in Edinburgh, once sacked by my former employer for comments on the blog. I'm a bookseller and a serious book and movie fan, also posting reviews on books, graphic novels and movies regularly. The rest of my time is spent in thinking up smartarse comments, tickling my cats and supporting my local brewery.