Poetry: Lies I’ve Told My 3 Year Old Recently

This is just a lovely, although quite bittersweet piece of poetry by a father of a young child, Raul Gutierrez, the final line is especially moving:

Trees talk to each other at night.

All fish are named either Lorna or Jack.

Before your eyeballs fall out from watching too much TV, they get very loose.

Tiny bears live in drain pipes.

If you are very very quiet you can hear the clouds rub against the sky.

The moon and the sun had a fight a long time ago.

Everyone knows at least one secret language.

When nobody is looking, I can fly.

We are all held together by invisible threads.

Books get lonely too.

Sadness can be eaten.

I will always be there.”

We tell children wonderful fibs to help make their childhood a magical space, and so we should, because when they grow up and have to face the bitter winds of later life that magical, glowing time when the world was full of mysterious enchantment and your mum and dad could answer you about it all and there was no problem so big they couldn’t take care of it and you, will still be in them, when they need it. Especially when that last line in the poem proves to be a desperate lie, that they can’t be there for us forever, that one day we lose them and it will hurt so much more than any pain we’ve ever known, and they know that, chance are they have been through that pain themselves earlier in life and they so desperately want to protect their child from it as they want to protect them from everything else bad in the world. And they know they can’t, worse still they know when that pain of loss comes the person they most need in the world to comfort and support them is the very person they have lost. So we tell them we’ll be here forever, because what else can we tell them? And because we so wish we could be. (via BoingBoing)

Suffer the little children

I was moved by Vegar’s ruminations on the paucity of childcare facilities in the UK. Although normally a typical bachelor who enjoys kicking small infants, stealing their candy and generally rating my cats to be more important than children I was moved by the eloquence of his plea for more childcare in the UK. It is to this end and in the spirit of helpfulness that I say we should look to the glorious history of our Sceptred Isle for an asnwer to this problem.

Therefore as a student of history may I suggest the immeadite re-instatement of the grand old tradition of using small children in factories and mills to nip in-between the large machines. This will ensure they are occupied while parents are at work and as the small infants can run in between moving machines industy won’t have to shut them down for maintenance, thus boosting British productivity and making us more competitive with Third World nations who still practise this form of childcare. No, don’t look at me like that, you buggers – just think who made your shirt or sneakers before you get all high and mighty on me! If it’s good enough for the poor kids in Indonesia who made your GUP shirt or Nookie trainers surely it’s good enough for your children? If this is too much for you we could use some small children as chimney sweeps once more and unscrupulous circus owners will rent small kids to masquarade as dwarves in the Big Top.

For those parents still unconvinced by my helpful suggestions there is always the miracle of ether. And if you still insist on expensive private care then remember your kids can be a resource: sell the stem cells from your newborn to some genetic scientists for hard cash to pay for the nursery care. I hope I have done my little bit to help in the struggle for better childcare in the UK. Anyway, when you think on it the lack of nursery care in the UK is a way of preparing the children for the day they are old and realise their pension is worthless and they lack care facilities once more – thus is the circle of life complete.