Historic Facebook

I don’t know who made this mocked up Facebook page for historical and mythological events (link came via twitter direct to the image rather than a site or blog, so don’t have the right person’s name to credit for it), but it’s brilliant:

Pies

For some bizarre reason a friend and I got on to the topic of pie-shagging (a la American Pie) the other day. Porking a pie – hmmm, is this possibly an alternative source for the name of the pork pie? Not just because it’s made of dead piggy, but because of naughty pastry-related bonking in days of old; after all many pork pies do have that curious little circular depression in the top…

Anyway, from there we somehow went on to Cannibal Country (possibly inspired by last week’s Torchwood with human-eating yokels) and making pies from people. And somehow it mixed with the previous topic and I found myself wondering about cannibal yokels who cut up nubile teen hitchers and turn them into pies, then shag those pies. And I wondered, would our pie-porkin’ cannibal only shag human pies of the opposite sex, unless of course they were gay? I’m just picturing a pair of our happy countryside cannibals indulging in some intimate pastry relations with fresh pies made from their latest chopped up hitchers, one turning to the other and laughing, “man, you is dicking a guy-pie, you fag!”; gay cannibalistic necrophilia (with pies). Kind of American Pie meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Sweeney Todd. It would make a great short horror movie or comic; a tale of lust, love, sexual identity and odd fillings for pies.

Yes, odd things do jump into my head; maybe I do watch too many movies…

Remix the underground

Boing Boing has been posting links for the last week or two about remixes of station names on local underground systems. The first couple to be done, like the London Underground and Toronto were pulled from their sites after their local transport authorities objected on grounds of violation of copyright, thus forever banishing the stereotype image we all had of the little jobsworthy twat who runs such services and couldn’t be more anally retentive if he had his butt cheeks held together with an industrial vice… Anyway, in true Boing Boing fashion they have been posting ever more versions from round the world (most transport authorities not being as bothered as London who you’d think would be too busy trying to think on ways of keeping their mayor out of trouble) including (hurrah) Glasgow!

The Celtic Kama Sutra

This new book tells of the mysterious, miraculous and ancient shagging techniques passed on through the centuries: the love secrets of the Celts. This manual on better loving includes the many exotic practices and fascinating techniques and positions practised by our Celtic ancestors, including:

Raising the Sporran

The Kinky Kilt

Tossing the Caber

The Mighty Claymore

Stuffing the Haggis

The Highland Fling

Scottish Sword Dancing (for ladies with multiple male partners only)

The Boudica (for the more dominant lady)

The Gathering of the Clans (for real swingers only, yeah, baby, yeah!)

The Celtic Kama Sutra is researched and written by Doctor Hamish MacDeevyant, lecturer in Classical and Ancient Shagging at the University of Woolamaloo (Auchterarder Annex).