Man does not live by bread alone….

Sometimes he needs to toast it. A great story in the Edinburgh-based Scotsman (you have to subscribe, but it’s free) detailing a vision of Jesus appearing to an atheist in a toasted crumpet! Never had a religious appearance like that in my foodstuff although I did once think I saw a lion in my chocolate bar when I was younger. Then I remembered I was actually eating one of those old Cadbury’s animals choccy bars… Perhaps religious leaders, always keen to brainwash – sorry, I mean reach out and connect to – young people could consider a similar choccy bar for kids but with saints instead of animals? Plain chocolate for the dour protestants, garishly adorned ones for Catholics. Islamic bars would have the problem of a sudden dip in sales during the holy time of Ramadan’s fastings and police would probably keep confiscating them without charge all the time anyway.

Nah, I can’t see it myself – most major religions seem to deal as much in human suffering and misery as they do in spiritual salvation, so chocolate delight is perhaps not for them. On reflection perhaps only the Buddhists could do it – after all, once you’ve eaten your chocolate bar you are left with a warm feeling of contentment and inner peace :-).

Rubber soul

On a completely unrelated tale in the Scotsman this week (at least I think they are unrelated, but with chocolate and sex who knows?) it emerged that the Asda-Walmart store in Edinburgh’s Chesser area sells far more condoms than in any other of their stores – apparently one condom for every four square feet of shop space every fifteen minutes. No-one is quite sure why this should be so and I suspect some sexologists and athropologists are already planning papers on the phenomenon. I must confess that Chesser is only a few minutes from my own comfortortable crypt, but I cannot claim any responsibility in this matter