AVP

Alien versus Predator that is. Okay, didn’t expect much from this to be honest – if it wasn’t for being off today and having my movie pass I’d probably have body-swerved it. It is utter cack – lazy writing, badly shot, no characterisation whatsoever and most unforgiveably it’s not in the least tense or scary. Okay, I have a high tolerance for being scared by the Alien since I did the original Alien War when it debuted back in Glasgow’s Arches many years ago – once you’ve had a full-size Alien jump out in you in a dark room lit only by a flickering strobe then the movie image is never going to be as terrifying. Still, take my word for it – this isn’t even a couple of hours of mindless entertainment, it’s just crap, rehashing old nonsense like Von Daniken and other tosh. One character states in serious actor mode that they suspect Antarctica (where the mysterious pyramid is found, amazingly uncrushed by thousands of tons of ice above it) once was able to support life. Well, fucking duh! We know it did several times over the millions of years… Lazy hack tosh – avoid.