KERRY SELECTS FAMOUS PSYCHIC AS SIDEKICK

Presidential hopeful Senator Kerry has finally announced who his running mate will be for the Democratic Whitehouse ticket. For those unfamiliar with the somewhat cumbersome process of expensive balloon flying that constitutes a US ‘election’ (we use the word advisedly since so many US citizens do not actually get to vote) the term ‘running mate’ does not, as many believe, refer to a chum who joins him when jogging for the cameras as many US politicians do. Rather it describes the position of the Vice Presidential hopeful.

Although it seems unbelievable to the entire rest of Planet Earth, in America there is a real chance of Bush being returned to power, so close is his campaign running with that of Kerry. Therefore Kerry has today pulled a rabbit out of his hat by nominating celebrity psychic John Edwards as his VP nominee. John Edwards is, of course, famous for his many books and his television shows where he channels communications between the living and those who have pass on to the Great Hereafter. It remains to be seen if Mr Edwards will, during the coming campaign months, channel a message from the recently deceased former President Ronald Reagan to comment on Mr Bush’s performance.