Enquiries

Many are confused as to the remit of the hastily announced enquiry Tony Blair announced somewhat testily today. To set it all straight for you, the enquiry, headed by such impartial members as the former head of the civil service (so not an establishment figure at all) and one of TOny Blair’s own party’s former chief whips, so it will be at least as impartial and even-handed as the Hutton enquiry. And it’s even kind of cross-party except the Liberals have already said its a load of bollocks and refused to join it and legitamize it (good for them).

But what will it do? Well, the enquiry will lay to rest the public’s fears that we were misled or lied to by our leaders to drag us into a war that millions of Britons demonstrated against and for which there was no legitimate shred of justification (and indeed was against international law, making Blair a war criminal for the crime of agression, ot to mention civilian deaths). Our minds will be eased by the enquiry looking into exactly why Tony and the government were totally right to go to war and are, of course, still right now even although we can’t find any bloody weapons and knew fine there weren’t any to begin with… So why not just skip the actual farago of an enquiry and just hand in another whitewashed report right now and stop bloody kidding us?

To make sure this enquiry is totally impartial there will also be an enquiry into the enquiry and the enquiry members will report to the public affairs committee which will also then face a public enquiry which will find them all blameless.

Mind you, still better than George who is having an enquiry (as he pretends to be surprised that the intelligence was wrong, gee, I’m as shocked as the rest of you guys) but, what a surprise, it wont publish the findings until after the presidential election in November. My god, he must so fear the incorruptable hair of Kerry.