NEW LEADER

Cult British comedian, the late Frank Howerd is to challenge for the leadership of the troubled Conservative Party. Despite the notable handicap of having been dead for several years it is still thought by most political pundits that Mr. Howerd has by far the best chance of success. Speaking through a medium, Frankie stated that he had been talked into running for the leadership after some Tory rebel MPs had persuaded him that it was a chance to be the star of the biggest comedy show in Britain. “How could I turn down the opportunity to slip into Maggie Thatcher’s trousers?” remarked Frankie via his psychic translator, before adding, “Oh, titter ye not.”

Mrs. Thatcher has already said she will keep out of the leadership contest but did remark that it was about time the party had someone with big eyebrows in the front ranks again, something the Tories have lacked since Bernard Ingham’s day. A friend of Frankie Howerd’s remarked that as one of his most successful roles had been as the Roman slave Lurkio in Up Pompeii Mister Howerd was well prepared for an arena of politics where friends suddenly plunged daggers into the back of their leader.