Fag Hag

This week there was consternation on the streets of Halifax as plain clothes litter enforcers took to the streets. One woman complained because she was fined for dropping her cigarette butt on the pavement. A similar occurrence was in the local Edinburgh paper a few weeks ago when someone complained about being fined by litter wardens for dropping their fag butt at their lazy arse. Now I have to say bollocks to these folk and not just because I loathe smoking (disgusting and bloody selfish of you to inflict it on everyone around you).

Some people are lazy and drop litter, even when – as was the case with the woman busted in Halifax – there is a bin right next to them. The doorway to our bookstore in Edinburgh is choc-a-bloc every single morning when I unlock the doors with bloody cigarette butts. All thrown away by lazy ass motherfuckers by the dozen. Well fuck you; I’m glad you got fined 50 quid! Why do you think dropping these cancerous death sticks on the pavement is any different form dropping any other form of litter?

And let’s face it, a lot of smokers are lazy gits who do drop their butts anywhere – I have a neighbour who drops them in our block’s stairwell. Why can’t he wait until he gets into his flat? Lines of folk waiting to get on to the bus puffing pathetically to the last second before getting on board (the habit owns them so much they need every second of it) and then they flick it away as they get on the bus. Why bother with the litter bin next to every bus stop when you have a street or pavement handy? As a cyclist and pedestrian in Edinburgh I have had to watch out for stupid motorists who flick their fag butt out of their window instead of into their car’s ashtray. Do they look to make sure they’re not about to flick it out right into a cyclist or passing pedestrian’s face? Do they buggery. So fine all of the fuckers along with the other lazy ass, disgusting, dirty, selfish bastards who litter our streets and ruin our environment. More on Alistair Campbell’s favourite web site, BBC Online. Goddam I’m feeling blue AND self righteous!