Hey, Monkey Boy!!!

New Scientist has depressing but not terribly surprising news that the number of people in the United States who don’t believe in Evolution is increasing, with the recent survey finding that the number who believe in Evolution has fallen from an already paltry 45% in 1985 to 40% today. This puts the United States barely ahead of Turkey.

I’m with my patron saint, Bill of Hicks on evolution, when he is teasing some fundamentalist Christians who believe in the literal truth of the Bible rather than seeing it as metaphorical. If the Earth is 6, 000 years old and everything that existed then exists now then what about dinosaurs, asks Bill. Pretty big omission from the Good Book, surely? “And lo the disciples came running unto Christ saying ‘there’s a big fucking lizard down there, Lord’. And Jesus removied a thorn from the Brontosaurus’ paw and the two were firm friends.”

Bill goes on to say that the usual answer by these numpties was that God had put the dinosaur skeletons there to ‘test their faith’. Now, as Bill remarks, if this were true it would be even more worrying because it indicates that God thinks he is a bit of a prankster, running around during those six days burying fake dinosaur skeletons in the Earth to mess with people’s minds and to leave layers of fossils in different strata which clearly indicate from their remains that creatures have changed – evolved as we say – from less primitive forms into more advanced ones over the eons.

But this cuts no ice with the growing ranks of the ignorant and not all of those are fundamentalists. It is all but impossible to argue with such groups because they do not subscribe to reasons, falling back on that tired argument of the weak-minded that it is the will of the creator moving in mysterious ways and a matter of faith (which means, conveniently, they can ignore evidence and avoid reasoned argument). It is doubly ironic that a nation which prides itself on being one of the most advanced technolgocial countries on the planet should be so ridden with weak-minded, ill-educated, supertitious fools who really need to be transported back in time to the Middle Ages. And sure, they are are entitled to hold their opinion as I am; the difference is that the are complete morons and I’m entitled to say they have the intellectual capacity of watered down porridge as they are to burn my effigy and decry me as a servant of the Horned One (or Stan, as I call him). Oh dear, did that opening to 2001 not achieve anything in the US?